Ugh, more strange dreams lately.
I’ve no idea how to prevent these weird, weird dreams, but mostly they don’t bother me, except when they leave me with some weird overhanging feeling the next day, sort of like a bad taste in my mouth, except all over.
Last night’s dream was very strange indeed.
I dreamed that I had agreed to be a surrogate mother for a couple that I know that lost a child awhile back. I had the baby, and at first I was fine with handing it over, but then for some reason, I had to stay with the baby (and the couple) for some extended period of time, and I did not want to give the baby up. Actually, I ended up taking the baby AWAY from them, because apparently I had never signed any rights away after all. (*As I remember, (this was a very detailed dream) the baby was genetically related to me, but not to them.)
Is that weird or WHAT?
First of all, let me just say that I have nothing but tremendous respect for women that are surrogate mothers. They give people the most precious gift imaginable, with little real respect from the general public. That being said, I could not do it. I am not made of material strong enough to hand over a baby that grew in my body for nine months, I’m just not. I could donate blood, or plasma, possibly even eggs, but not a baby that had lived inside me for so long. I’ve never been pregnant nor given birth, so I don’t know exactly what I would feel, but judging by that dream, it would not be pleasant. I woke up with a sense of relief, but also guilt, because I had taken away something from them. Which is ludicrous because it was JUST A DREAM.
I think I need to lay off reading before bed or something, although last night I was reading “Dry” by Augusten Burroughs, which is about alcholism and not about surrogate pregnancy, the last time that I checked.
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I had a dream last night of being a surrogate.
But I read The Handmaid’s Tale last night.
I consider my dream an utter nightmare.
Mine was pretty nightmarish too, made worse by the fact that I have NO clue where this dream came from. I think my subconscious is enjoying screwing with me.