To my dear sweet little dog:
I love you, but I think you are under the wrong impression about who rules the roost around here. I don’t mind sharing my big comfy bed with you, but we are going to have to establish some ground rules. Here are a few:
1. I don’t mind getting up to let you out so that you can powder your nose, but I DO mind getting up to let you out so that you can bark at the neighbors. This is their “turf” too.
2. If you don’t do your business on the first trip outside, that is your problem, not mine. You don’t get to run all over the bed to get me back up so that you can finish barking at the neighbors.
3. If I welcome you back into my nice cozy bed after you’ve been outside in all the ice and snow, you should either sprawl on top of the covers or burrow under them. I don’t even mind your icy little paws on my arms. But you have to be still. You can’t run around on top of me and then run to the bedroom door and whimper because you weren’t done barking/can’t find your stuffed cat/think you need a dog biscuit.
4. I am sorry if you get kicked out of the bedroom because you can’t quit making noise and running around on the bed. I know you are sad. Go sit on your dog bed or on the couch. Don’t come sit in front of my door and whimper, PLEASE.
5. When I finally do get up because you won’t stop making noise, you should come sit on the couch with me. You should NOT run for the warm space on my bed and conk out for another couple of hours…that’s just plain mean.
I love you though, even if you are a funny, funny dog.
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