I’ve started a little writing project. One that I started, oh, 8 years ago, maybe?

You see, when I was in high school, I was a member of our schools Forensics team (no, not dead bodies…acting and debating, that sort of thing). I loved it.  For some people, public speaking is their worst fear. For me, it was one of my favorite things. I’ve never minded getting up in front of a crowd. If anything, I’ve fed off of it.  I always joke that since I work with kids, I have to have no shame-I sing, dance, talk about bodily functions that aren’t normally discussed in polite company, read books in silly voices, and all kinds of other potentially embarrassing things.  I guess the no shame came before the working with kids though, there was no part that I was afraid to play.

Through my experiences with acting, however, I began to find that many, if not most, of the available female monologues were sad, depressing characters.  Don’t get me wrong-I read many well-written, powerfully emotional pieces, but they just weren’t ME.  As anyone that knows me in real life (or has read this blog at anytime during the four years it’s existed) I am a total comedienne at heart. I love to make people laugh.  So sad, serious roles weren’t really my favorite. I did do a few, but I never felt that they were right for me. So, I decided to write my own.  I wrote a 3 or 4 page piece that was funny and fitting. I performed it a few times and enjoyed it, then I kind of forgot about it. (I found my most success with a passage from the book “Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging” by Louise Rennison. If you have not read it, go now, and read it. It is ridiculous, hilarious, and may cause you to snort in public.)

But back to my writing. As I said, I wrote this funny little 3 or 4 piece page, performed it a few times, and then kind of dropped it.  Fast forward to 2011, when I really tried my hand at writing some fiction. I wrote several pages of a story, but then realized that I was breaking the first, and I guess really only, rule of writing: WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW.  I had a story outline, and I had characters, but the story and characters started to be unfamiliar and unlikeable to me…so I kind of just dropped it. The piece I had written while I was in high school wasn’t the Gospel truth, but it was based on experiences that I had had as a teenage girl.

So after 8 years, I dug the old piece out and am now working on fleshing it out into something much, much longer. I don’t have a ton written so far, but I feel pretty good about what I’ve written, for a rough draft anyway. My main issue with writing is the fact that I am either writing like a madwoman, without thinking about it, or I spend too much time over analyzing every comma.  With this project, I’ve tried to just go with the flow, realize that this is a rough draft, and concentrate on getting it down before I go back and change a bunch of stuff.

It’s hard for someone who LOVES instant gratification to go through all the rough draft typical stuff, but I somehow just have a good feeling about this one.

Now, please excuse me while I go back to write more…and listen to Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling”.

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I am about to go to school…D was going to go with me, but he is sick and pitiful, so I will leave him at home with his sickness.  However, I can’t leave him unentertained at home, so I am going to leave him a reminder of the best thing on my computer. He has seen it before, but I have yet to share it here.

So blog friends, enjoy: The best that Rachel’s hard drive has to offer:

My  friend T made this for me a while ago, and I never tire of looking at it.

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If everything goes according to plan, I will be wrapping up my little tango with higher education in May.

Well, the undergraduate part anyway.

I’ve decided to go to grad school.

I’m not sure if I’m just a glutton for punishment or what, but I can honestly say that I am excited about this path.

I still haven’t decided which entrance exam to take…my school gives a choice of two exams for my particular M.A., so I need to do some asking around to see which one I think is the best fit for me.  (In other words; which one I can make the best score on?)

And of course I still have to get letters of recommendation, and pay the application fee and all that jazz. (I now cannot find the place to pay the application fee online, which I suspect is because my school recently revamped their website. Prettier yes, but now I know where nothing is. (Ok, I will admit that it is better than the other website, but I had used the other site for 3 years! I knew how to find anything! And then they took it away. *sigh*)

Anyway, I’ll keep updating; I really hope that everything works out with this.

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So, I had a fairly productive day today, (took Bio final, moved stuff into new place (then moaned that I thought I lost an ovary after heavy lifting), got to visit with mah best friend (hi ivymoser) , ate lunch with D ,  and rewashed the load of clothes that had soured (bad, BAD, Rachel.) I still need to do wii fit and that kind of thing, but over all, not too bad!

Of course though, I found away to foolishly squandor time online. Here are the fruits of my efforts. Promise me you will go to these things, and then come back, so we can all have a laugh together. Sort of like an online cocktail party. Except without booze.  Or snacks. So really it’s not much like a cocktail party at all.

First, a tattoo from ugliesttattoos.com.  3 words- BEST. TATTOO. EVER. Ok, maybe not best, but certainly funniest and most nostalgia inspiring. Who didn’t make some unusual toy combos as a kid? I for one, enjoyed making Barbie shack up with the Dad from my playskool doll house once in awhile. Ken was pretty, but this guy looked like he could get stuff done. I mean, I’m sure Barbie enjoyed doing the devil’s aerobics with Ken, but what good was he when the toilet busted?

Next, some cards from someecards.   First, look at this one. *Snort* Now, one for me and my pal Ivy to have a good laugh over. Now, some for D, so he won’t feel left out, here you go, and have another. Oh wait, here is another one that I thought was pretty good for us too.

Now, a funny post from The Bloggess.  Someone not knowing who Kurt Cobain was (is?) would totally make me steal deodorant too.

How about a baby book fail?

Here is my public service announcement for the day. I concur, there is nothing you can catch from a toilet seat. I should know because I totally went to nursing school for awhile AND I spend a lot of time chatting with Dr. Google, so that practically makes me an M.D.  I mean, if Doogie Howser could be a Doctor, I totally could too. I at least don’t make a habit of letting boys climb in my window.

Now, wasn’t that fun? Didn’t you totally laugh out loud?

Now, go, go and collect me some more funnies….

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So it is late and I have had tylenol pm, but it has not kicked in yet. Yes Virginia, my headache would probably go away faster if I STEPPED AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP, but D went to the store and the dog is tired of listening to my stories.  I guess this is sort of a cop-out for a post, but nonetheless, here you go. 25 random things about me.

1. I have a “stork bite” birthmark on my forehead. Somedays it is very visible (usually when ANGRY or sleepy), other times not at all. It’s never bothered me at all. I actually think it’s kind of cute. Is that conceited?

2.  One time D woke me up while I was sleeping on the couch to make me go to bed and I asked “Where is Alice?” Who the hell is Alice???

3.  I have sat behind a waterfall, and in a waterfall. It’s as awesome as it sounds.

4.  I absolutely love creamed spinach. Most people gag when I say that.

5. I burned my finger with a car cigarette lighter once (NOT lighting a cig, plugging in phone charger) and I never quite got all the feeling back in the tip of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I can still feel stuff with it, it’s like it just has a latex glove over it or something.

6. I have 4 piercings in my ears. I used to have 6….and my ears feel naked, so 6 is going to come back soon.  (Sorry mom, I know you aren’t big on my ears looking like someone took a tiny hole punch to them. If it makes you feel better, it doesn’t hurt any less the 4th time you get your ears pierced than it does the 1st. This time will be #5.)

7.  This is going to sound emo, and I don’t mean it this way, because I wasn’t depressed or anything, but I never felt that my life had real purpose until I worked with people with special needs.  I guess I never thought about “purpose” before, but when I came to this major in college, I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, if that makes any sense?

8.  I want to be just like my little sister when I grow up.

9. I want a moon bounce for adults. If I find this, I will buy it and jump in it everyday.

10.  When we buy a house, D is going to make me a tire swing. No, not for when we have kids, for ME.

11.  I am a horrible procrastinator.

12. The skin on my feet peels really bad.

13.  I can’t stand green apple and watermelon flavored candy. I like green apples and watermelon, but just not green apple and watermelon flavored candy.

14.  Tulips are my favorite flower.

15.  I chew so much gum everyday that I’m kind of embarassed.

16.  I love it when D makes me sweet tea and macaroni and cheese. He makes better sweet tea and macaroni and cheese than anyone I’ve ever known.

17.  I like it when D tells me technical stuff about his work even though I have NO idea what he’s talking about most of the time.

18. I like keyboards that make a lot of noise.

19. I’ve seen every episode of “Frasier” and “The Nanny”.

20. I’m addicted to cheez-its.

21. I am pretty grouchy when I wake up.

22. D thinks its HILARIOUS when I get so mad that I stomp my foot.

23.  Everytime I wear high heels someone remarks on HOW tall I am. Amazon woman?

24.  I have every card D has ever given me.

25. I sleep with a sheet, a quilt and a comforter on my bed, even in the heat of the summer. With the fan on the highest setting.  I can’t sleep without enough weight on top of me.

So there are my 25 random things. You should tell me 25 random things about you, so that we can all be random together.

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I don’t know what it is, but here lately I have been ALL ABOUT some milk. Wtf? I don’t even ordinarily LIKE milk, and now I drink two, three glasses a day. Oh well, I guess it is good for me, calcium and vitamin D and all that stuff.  Just strange, because, I mean I DID NOT LIKE IT, at ALL. Oh sure, I might have liked milk and cookies, but I never just went into the kitchen and poured milk. In fact, I am more of a soy milk drinker.  Maybe it’s because I’m doing the slim/fast thing and desperate for anything NOT slim/fast, I do not know.  All I know is that we had a whole fresh gallon of skim milk on Sunday night, and now it is Wednesday and I am going to have to buy more. Craziness.

On another note, I updated my about me section,  that page gets a lot of views for some reason and I decided it was high time for a change. I’ll probably change it again at some point.

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If you live in Illinois or Texas, watch out for the zombies, k?

Zombie Road Signs

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I will agree that your “people you may know” tool has probably helped some old friends find me.  Kudos to you for that.

But, it does two other things that I find completely frustrating.

1.  Suggest people that I do not know at all. Yeah, I know it’s called people you “may” know, but still, I don’t care if we DO have 3 mutual friends,  I still don’t know them. Maybe we went to a party together once and met the same 3 people that we came home and facebook friend-ed and then forgot about. Maybe you are a friend of that random person that shared an umbrella with me that one time, because it randomly started pouring. Maybe you are friends with that girl that I sometimes shared a swimming lane with at the pool.  Maybe we glared at each other over the last parking spot anywhere close to campus.  I don’t know, because I don’t know you.

2.  It keeps suggestsing THE most annoying people that I ever met in my life, and want NO contact with, even facebook contact. The girl that was in my high school Spanish class who constantly made me want to grind my teeth everyday? Don’t need her posting things on my wall. My ex boyfriend? Yeah, that didn’t end so well, we probably don’t need to be facebook friends. (Actually, I will confess that I am friends with people I’ve dated previously on facebook. Proof that we all can get along.) Worse than that, please don’t suggest D’s ex-girlfriend as a friend for me, what are we going to talk about?  How I WIN and she LOSES? (Uh, I’m not competitive at all, I promise.)  Maybe you can suggest her as a friend for my ex-boyfriend. That might work out well. (They can talk about how they LOSE and D and I WIN.)

Anyhoo, facebook, if you could just quit showing me that crap, I’m sure we could be the best of friends again.

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I’ve found a couple things here recently that have entertained me to no end while I have some downtime at work (those of you who know what I do know that I have quite a bit of downtime,  have I ever mentioned how much I love my job?).

Enjoy:

1. Best of Craigslist- All of  these are actual things that people have posted on craigslist. Many of them have made me laugh to the point of snorting.

2. Would you like to buy some uranium ore on amazon? Read the comments section and you will not be disappointed.

3. Ugliest Tattoos Hey, if you’re stupid enough to get this shit permanantly tattooed on yourself, then I pretty much have a right to laugh at it.

4. Ok, some might say the next is offensive, but I don’t think so. You can make fun of me for having a southern accent all you want, I can admit that I talk funny, it’s cool.  I love engrish.

5.  Last, but not least,  who doesn’t love a good cake wreck?

I hope you enjoyed your time wasting!

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So, I’ve been getting a lot of spam in my email here lately.

What pisses me off?

The spam is coming to my university email, which just hits a little too close to home.

The kicker?

I got one spam today that addressed me BY NAME offering me a “job” filling out online surveys and participating in “focus groups”.

Now obviously, I know this is a hoax (not something I’d be interested in anyway, but googled it and found several references to the spam factor, not the legit factor), but I have gotten several weird emails over the course of the last few weeks in this email account, and it just kind of pisses me off.

Why?

Because this is the email that I use for conducting all my professional(esque) stuff. Contacting professors, ordering online, and more of my personal keeping in touch stuff. I have a few other emails, but this is my main one.

It isn’t the fact that I’m getting the spams so much as the fact that they’re making it to the inbox. 2 of my other emails just automatically send that crap to the trash.

So hey, university people, improve your spam blockers! I know I’m not the only person with this problem, several of my friends have gotten this crap too. What worries me is that someone will get the “job” offer and respond, thinking that it’s legit, and end up paying money to this hack for a “job”.

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